Spotlight on: Abbey Vermeulen ???? @yabe___
“Hi there, my name is Abbey. I’m a 24 year old barista. In 2019, I was misprescribed a psychoactive drug. My doctor instructed me to cut my SSRI extended-release pills, which are never supposed to be cut because it makes the dose come out much faster. Without knowing, I was flooding my body & mind with toxic levels of the drug for one month straight. I couldn’t eat or sleep & went into a manic state. Quickly my vision changed; it felt like I was watching a TV screen, & I felt buzzing in my brain like a beehive. I ended up in psychiatric urgent care where a doctor finally told me to stop cutting the medication.
The symptoms of mania went away, but TV screen & tinnitus remained. After many visits to optometrists, VSS was finally identified by a neuro-opthamologist.
I grew up near Lake Michigan. Since the onset of VSS, what was once a calm clear vision of water is now splotchy, constantly moving, filled with floaters, unsettled. Reading became more difficult. Bright lights can be so overwhelming, often I yearn for the visual clarity I once had. The hardest part is telling people about its real significance. Sometimes when I describe it, people say “Well we all have that to some degree! I see dots when I’m trying to fall asleep!” It’s hard to find the words to describe how unsettling it can be. It’s a real struggle. I’m still learning how to take care of myself, to not gaslight myself about the difficulties that VSS presents. Sharing with the VSS community helps a lot. We have a secret bravery living with these symptoms that so few understand. I am learning to give myself a break & a healthy dose of grace. Recovering from medical trauma & learning to live with VSS takes a lot of work. Remember that your experience & struggles are very precious & you’re not alone. I see you & might even see like you do- treat yourself with utmost kindness & gentleness.”
